Top Fifteen Things I’ve Learned in My First Year of Parenting

7/23/06: Post 1.003

  1. Sleep is not overrated.
  2. After extensive and ongoing experimentation by my son, gravity continues to function as theorized; especially on spoons, water bottles, O’s, hats and sunglasses.
  3. The amount of poop in the diaper will be inversely proportional to your preparedness for it.
  4. Always carry at least one spare change of baby clothes, three extra diapers and a full compliment of wipes (see #3).
  5. Read books, do your research, formulate your plan and then be prepared to take a completely different course when your child wants nothing to do with it.
  6. One’s parenting style is an extremely personal choice, like religion and politics. Be wary of any stranger who attempts to engage in conversation by asking innocuous questions such as, “Is he sleeping through the night,” “How often does he feed,” or “What schools have you looked at”? These are gateway questions, designed to open up the opportunity to espouse a world-view. Answer them curtly, with answers that leave no room further discussion.
  7. Trust your instincts.
  8. Every parent claims their baby is the cutest, smartest, most gifted baby ever, but ours really is.
  9. Every day is an opportunity to explore, discover and learn.
  10. The meaning of life can be found in your child’s laugh.
  11. Save your money: Everyday household items including but not limited to mixing bowls, water bottles and shoe boxes make far more long-lived toys than anything you can or will buy at the toy store.
  12. Nurture all you can, but embrace the nature of your child.
  13. Three a.m. is a fine time to play “smack dada’s nose.”
  14. Babies are much smarter than people give them credit for.
  15. I am Mister Potty Head.

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